Close Computer Calls

This is the second time I almost lost my computer...

The first time, I accidentally nudged the bag where the netbook was placed and it fell from the chair to the floor. The next time I opened it, there was a flickering and then... a blank screen. Several times I tried to turn it on again but with the same result.

Blessedly, when I brought the netbook to a friend for diagnostics, it was inexplicably working again... her computer guy didn't have to do anything... thank you, Lord! 

Last week while I was using the netbook, my sister unplugged the cord to place it in another socket. Maybe the electrical fluctuation did something to the battery because a few minutes later, the netbook shut down and the little light that should be on when it is plugged was dark. 

My heart sank within me... but when I brought it our IT guy at work, voila! After he removed the battery, it was working again. He said he hadn't done anything yet... again all I can say is, thank you, Lord!

Lord, thank you for allowing my netbook to get through mishaps... may it continue to be an instrument used for your glory. Hugs!

Journal Cutting

I'm writing my thesis this semester and since it was Tagaytay Day last Friday, I took advantage of the holiday and visited the LST library in Ateneo. One article that I hoped to get was Fishbane on the reversal of creation in Job's lament in Vetus Testamentum.

So I had a few journals on my desk and when I opened the Vetus Testamentum to find the Fishbane article, it was like the journal cut itself to the exact page. 

Ah yes, it's the little things that make me feel loved... almost like God nodding his head in approval, here's the article you need, anak. Thanks po!  

* * *

Had another Cinderella moment when I found P200 gold-colored sandals to wear to a friend's wedding last Saturday. Minsan talaga pag babae ka, you have to have shoes that go with the outfit. Thank you, Lord, for providing even my fashion wants.

Unspoken

On the way to work yesterday, I found myself asking God to give courage if it was His will for a certain vocation direction. In a way, I found the answer to my prayer in what was left unsaid. 

If things are left unsaid, there must be a reason. If I cannot be brave enough to take a certain direction, maybe that fear is actually a holy fear--a fear of being a stumbling block or causing someone to go in a direction other than the perfect one God has in mind.

How often in the past have I tried to make things go my way by forcing things to be said out loud. Was it really courage, as one person described it? Or just impulsive, stubborn impatience? Now I am learning the art of letting things be, the art of patience, the art of acceptance. It's actually much harder especially when the media around me tells me a contrary message. This time, I will do my best to follow; I will take my cue from silence.

Lord, give me strength... to take what is given at face value and to accept it with grace. Let me follow your lead and not force the dance to go faster or go this way or that way. Be in control. I surrender. 

Golden Tablet-Calf

It makes me sad to see a little boy playing with a tablet throughout the celebration of the mass at Feast PICC. (This picture was taken after the mass when the boy's elder sister took her turn at the tablet...) 

What are the "tablets" in our life that hinder us from loving God? 

Is it our intellect? Some people cannot stand even hearing about Church teachings because they place their faith in their own perspective, opinion, and ideas.

Is it the desire to look beautiful? Perhaps the most extreme would be people who sacrifice their bodies just to be model-thin. Isn't anorexia a form of idolatry where thinness is the god worshiped? A god for whom the anorexic is willing to give even his/her life...

Is it sex? How many people have sacrificed their own flesh and blood simply to have the "right" to a "safe and satisfying" sex life? Abortion is today's modern equivalent of child sacrifice---made on the surgical table cum altar to sex.


There are so many golden tablet-calves today that people whoreship... 

Lord, forgive us for our many offenses against you... cleanse us and remove the golden tablet-calves in our lives. Grant us the grace to faithfully love you until the end.This we ask in Jesus' name. Amen.

Anticipated

Today I asked God if I could have some bananas. It's just that I've been feeling the beginning of cramps every night for the past week. This morning, my "foster" family served fried bananas for breakfast. And my favorite type of banana was on the dining table when I got home. 

***

In class, I wanted to ask our professor "What if someone has been struggling with the same sin for a number of years... does it mean his/her spirituality is inauthentic?"

As he lectured, my question was answered. Though he answered it even more directly after class. The answer is: Christ really targeted sinners; our sinfulness is our brokenness but this is where grace comes in; God might be allowing this thorn in the flesh to keep us humble. In other words, it is very authentic to be struggling with sin.  

Thank you, Lord, for anticipating my requests. Mwah!

Janus Seed 1

Pinapahinga ko lang ang aking puso
   To exhale his name in surrender...
I am not the one making the sacrifice
   Nakikisabay lang ako sa pag-aalay niya

Pinapahinga ko lang ang aking puso
   To stop being strong,
      relax my guard,
    and let the desire and sorrow flow
   onto the more-than-able shoulder of my Lord, my God

Raining blessings

When I was a child, there were times when we would arrive at our destination just before the rain would fall. It seemed to happen more when we were on our way to or from church. The general consensus: it was divine intervention... God held off the rain just for us. 

Yesterday, it was raining just before 5 pm... so an officemate suggested we leave together in a tricycle (instead of my usual habit of walking to the highway). Since I had no umbrella, I agreed. But I wondered what I would do when I had to get off. Do I make the carton box I had taken from the library a makeshift umbrella? It was meant for moving day (today) and I needed it to be not soggy. The walk from the gate of the convent to our rented bedspace was long enough to get wet and soggy.

Amazingly, when I got to my destination... no rain. Thank you, Lord!

* * * * *

Blessing 2. I had been alone in the convent's boarding house this summer because my housemates are also students, but unlike me, they have summer vacation. However, the week before I was to move out, the sisters had their week-long retreat and I had two of my former CTS classmates as housemates. We had a bit of bonding time last night. It was such a blessing to have them for company on our last night in the house. Again, thank you, Lord!

* * * * *

Blessing 3. Successful moving out day... My sister and Q_____ helped me out. With 1 box of books, 3 polka dotted bags, 2 Puregold bags, 1 Healthy Options bag, 1 zip lock plastic bag, 2 plastic bags, and 1 canvass bag, she certainly saved me from inconvenient multiple tricycle trips! Thank you, E____, Q_____, and thank you, Lord!

Salamat din po for the blessing of the family I am moving in with. I just lift them up to you and pray for your comfort and consolation.

* * * * * 

Blessing 4. My priest-mentor-boss came down for a surprise visit. Because of an unexpected job offer, I ended up having a brief heart-to-heart talk with him which left me relieved. We are on the same page. Finish the journal. Finish my master's degree. Thank you pa rin, Lord... thank you for the gift of Fr. R, the gift of education, and the gift of affirmation... 

* * * * * 

Blessing 5. I just learned I had my best sem ever... 95 in Wisdom, 99 in Prophetic Lit, 99 in Biblical Apostolate, and 100 in Methodology. Wow! Salamat pa rin, Lord!!!

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Blessing 6. I came home and found a World Vision envelope waiting for me. Apparently, my sponsored child has finished high school! Wow! I only sponsored him for a few years when I still had steady pay but it was gratifying to still receive a congratulatory note from World Vision updating me on his progress. Ang galing naman! Salamat, Lord!