Journal Cutting

I'm writing my thesis this semester and since it was Tagaytay Day last Friday, I took advantage of the holiday and visited the LST library in Ateneo. One article that I hoped to get was Fishbane on the reversal of creation in Job's lament in Vetus Testamentum.

So I had a few journals on my desk and when I opened the Vetus Testamentum to find the Fishbane article, it was like the journal cut itself to the exact page. 

Ah yes, it's the little things that make me feel loved... almost like God nodding his head in approval, here's the article you need, anak. Thanks po!  

* * *

Had another Cinderella moment when I found P200 gold-colored sandals to wear to a friend's wedding last Saturday. Minsan talaga pag babae ka, you have to have shoes that go with the outfit. Thank you, Lord, for providing even my fashion wants.

Unspoken

On the way to work yesterday, I found myself asking God to give courage if it was His will for a certain vocation direction. In a way, I found the answer to my prayer in what was left unsaid. 

If things are left unsaid, there must be a reason. If I cannot be brave enough to take a certain direction, maybe that fear is actually a holy fear--a fear of being a stumbling block or causing someone to go in a direction other than the perfect one God has in mind.

How often in the past have I tried to make things go my way by forcing things to be said out loud. Was it really courage, as one person described it? Or just impulsive, stubborn impatience? Now I am learning the art of letting things be, the art of patience, the art of acceptance. It's actually much harder especially when the media around me tells me a contrary message. This time, I will do my best to follow; I will take my cue from silence.

Lord, give me strength... to take what is given at face value and to accept it with grace. Let me follow your lead and not force the dance to go faster or go this way or that way. Be in control. I surrender. 

Golden Tablet-Calf

It makes me sad to see a little boy playing with a tablet throughout the celebration of the mass at Feast PICC. (This picture was taken after the mass when the boy's elder sister took her turn at the tablet...) 

What are the "tablets" in our life that hinder us from loving God? 

Is it our intellect? Some people cannot stand even hearing about Church teachings because they place their faith in their own perspective, opinion, and ideas.

Is it the desire to look beautiful? Perhaps the most extreme would be people who sacrifice their bodies just to be model-thin. Isn't anorexia a form of idolatry where thinness is the god worshiped? A god for whom the anorexic is willing to give even his/her life...

Is it sex? How many people have sacrificed their own flesh and blood simply to have the "right" to a "safe and satisfying" sex life? Abortion is today's modern equivalent of child sacrifice---made on the surgical table cum altar to sex.


There are so many golden tablet-calves today that people whoreship... 

Lord, forgive us for our many offenses against you... cleanse us and remove the golden tablet-calves in our lives. Grant us the grace to faithfully love you until the end.This we ask in Jesus' name. Amen.

Anticipated

Today I asked God if I could have some bananas. It's just that I've been feeling the beginning of cramps every night for the past week. This morning, my "foster" family served fried bananas for breakfast. And my favorite type of banana was on the dining table when I got home. 

***

In class, I wanted to ask our professor "What if someone has been struggling with the same sin for a number of years... does it mean his/her spirituality is inauthentic?"

As he lectured, my question was answered. Though he answered it even more directly after class. The answer is: Christ really targeted sinners; our sinfulness is our brokenness but this is where grace comes in; God might be allowing this thorn in the flesh to keep us humble. In other words, it is very authentic to be struggling with sin.  

Thank you, Lord, for anticipating my requests. Mwah!

Janus Seed 1

Pinapahinga ko lang ang aking puso
   To exhale his name in surrender...
I am not the one making the sacrifice
   Nakikisabay lang ako sa pag-aalay niya

Pinapahinga ko lang ang aking puso
   To stop being strong,
      relax my guard,
    and let the desire and sorrow flow
   onto the more-than-able shoulder of my Lord, my God