On the way home last Saturday, a couple got off a jeep from across the street. What caught my attention though was the way the guy kissed the girl on the lips in public. The body language seemed telling. The girl was leaning away from him. I looked away embarrassed. After what I estimated to be a sufficient amount of time for goodbyes, the next sight that greeted me was the guy going into his house along the highway and then the girl crossing the street to go home. That was when my jaw dropped in shock. Babae ang naghatid sa boyfriend niya sa bahay? Talaga lang? Couldn't he make the effort to walk her first to her house?
Yesterday, I was chatting with a long-time friend. Since college, this guy has been my confidante about all things regarding my love life or lack thereof. I found it strange that I was disagreeing with all the advice he was giving me and then I realized... he was giving me advice from the perspective of a married guy--advice that a man ought to follow but is not necessarily good advice for a woman. He was more or less urging me to push for clarification of intentions or cut off friendships.
I guess I have learned a few things over the years. One of the most crucial things is that when it comes to romantic relationships, just let the man take the lead. Don't jump the gun. Wait. This is extremely difficult, especially for women today who are in charge of their careers, take initiative at work, and are proactive in other areas of their life.
Popular culture via all forms of entertainment encourages women to take the initiative. You have Barbara Streisand and Celine Dion singing to women everywhere to "tell him." You have Julia Roberts going after her best friend to keep him from marrying someone else... a few years later, she is a superstar of a girl "standing in front of a boy asking him to love her."
I am grateful I attended a seminar which I realize now has given me a different perspective that is quite liberating. If a man wants me, he will do what he has to. If he is silent about his feelings or his actions don't back up his words, just let it be.
If you can be friends, be friends. Don't assume anything. Learn to live with the wondering but assume that the default position is he is just not that into you. Guard your heart, ladies. Don't give it to the next available man just because he's a nice, warm body beside you. You might end up having to bring him home while he gives you a sloppy, disrespectful kiss in public that you don't really want.
Okay, this might not seem like my usual blog topic but ultimately, when I think about it, God is really giving me grace. I don't have the strength to guard my own heart. I am impulsive and impatient and aggressive enough to tell a guy I like that I like him. God is really the one guarding my heart lately... yes, my weaknesses and impulses still make their way out but the peace I have now is inexplicable and can only be from God. It is a peace that the world cannot give. And it is a peace that liberates.
Father, thank you for the peace that only you can give. May everyone who reads this blog also be blessed with this inexplicable peace that liberates. Please bless all women, especially young women who might look up to the Miley Ciruses of the world, with the knowledge of how much you love them. May this knowledge lead to them value and respect themselves, say no when they have to, be patiently trusting when things are uncertain, and be free to follow your will wherever it may lead. This we ask in Jesus' name. Amen.
* * * * *
I guess I have learned a few things over the years. One of the most crucial things is that when it comes to romantic relationships, just let the man take the lead. Don't jump the gun. Wait. This is extremely difficult, especially for women today who are in charge of their careers, take initiative at work, and are proactive in other areas of their life.
Popular culture via all forms of entertainment encourages women to take the initiative. You have Barbara Streisand and Celine Dion singing to women everywhere to "tell him." You have Julia Roberts going after her best friend to keep him from marrying someone else... a few years later, she is a superstar of a girl "standing in front of a boy asking him to love her."
I am grateful I attended a seminar which I realize now has given me a different perspective that is quite liberating. If a man wants me, he will do what he has to. If he is silent about his feelings or his actions don't back up his words, just let it be.
If you can be friends, be friends. Don't assume anything. Learn to live with the wondering but assume that the default position is he is just not that into you. Guard your heart, ladies. Don't give it to the next available man just because he's a nice, warm body beside you. You might end up having to bring him home while he gives you a sloppy, disrespectful kiss in public that you don't really want.
* * * * *
Okay, this might not seem like my usual blog topic but ultimately, when I think about it, God is really giving me grace. I don't have the strength to guard my own heart. I am impulsive and impatient and aggressive enough to tell a guy I like that I like him. God is really the one guarding my heart lately... yes, my weaknesses and impulses still make their way out but the peace I have now is inexplicable and can only be from God. It is a peace that the world cannot give. And it is a peace that liberates.
Father, thank you for the peace that only you can give. May everyone who reads this blog also be blessed with this inexplicable peace that liberates. Please bless all women, especially young women who might look up to the Miley Ciruses of the world, with the knowledge of how much you love them. May this knowledge lead to them value and respect themselves, say no when they have to, be patiently trusting when things are uncertain, and be free to follow your will wherever it may lead. This we ask in Jesus' name. Amen.
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