Blessings in uncertainty

• Rivers of blessing are being poured out onto me and my family. I think the most significant one is that we got to spend time with family who are usually far away. A cousin and his family from the US are visiting... I met a cute niece I've never seen before apart from FB photos. My brother came home for a week-long vacation. We spent time with both clans from the maternal and paternal side. What a great birth month. Thank you, Lord. 

• My parents will be going on a trip to the Holy Land. Wow! Thank you, Lord, for the gift of life, for my parents and for their love. Please continue blessing and protecting them, and all their companions on this pilgrimage. We entrust them into Your most loving hands.
  
• College friends treated me to watch Sound of Music at Resorts World. We had a lovely dinner at Red Crab. And lots of yummy cake from Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. Happy birthday to me! Thank you, Lord!

What prompted me to write today, however, was how someone I love dearly reacted negatively to a blessing when I had just received it and was feeling joy.

In my studying theology, I will be working as a staff member of the library and receiving a small amount. I think of myself as a working student assistant. Actually, I felt very happy when my priest-professor was telling me about it. But my sister, ever practical and concerned about me, was belittling the amount, criticizing how poor a negotiator I am, etc. Boy, was it taking the joyful air out of my balloon.

Reflecting on it now, I realize that I am a people pleaser and the source of my anguish is trying to please those I love when, in my following God, all I face is uncertainty. I have accepted the darkness of uncertainty as part of my journey but I have not accepted that there will be voices speaking against such uncertainty apart from my own. I have to listen to God and be faithful despite how these voices echo my own fear. I am on a journey of uncertainty. 

Lord, grant me ears to hear Your voice above all others and to trust that as I take one step at a time into darkness, You are always by my side. Even if I don't know where this is all going, You have a plan. I trust You even when those around me echo my own fears. I trust You.