Guidance

Last Monday, I was at the Ateneo to listen to the doctoral dissertation of my mentor-boss, Fr. R. When I arrived, the first familiar face I saw was Sr. B, my professor in Pauline literature. Thanks to her, I reached the right room without difficulty. 

After the dissertation, I was going to meet my sister in Makati for our Bible Timeline module, spearheaded by the Light of Jesus Family (LOJ), which was scheduled for that evening. Thanks to my theology classmate (CTS), KB, I got on the right jeep for the most efficient route to the venue. Thanks, KB!

I was being guided to the right places... Sr. B and KB were my guides.

Earlier, during our post-dissertation bonding over Italian food, KB and I were discussing various things. For my part, I shared with her how I was having difficulty figuring out what to do with my life, especially when I finish my thesis. 

I have various options in mind, one of which is if I go back to LOJ (Light of Jesus Family), where and how will I serve? This question seems to be the first one answered...

After the first Bible Timeline session was over, the facilitators for the next 23 weeks were going to be oriented, including my sister. She was inviting me to be a facilitator too but I declined since I preferred to participate first--plus, I used to serve at PICC and planned to serve there again, not at Makati Feast. 

As they were being oriented, I sat at the back and listened--just in case I would be a facilitator in the future. But the person giving the talk remembered me from PICC Feast and called me by name, told everyone basically that I was studying theology, and invited me to sit up front and be a facilitator as well. How could I say no?  I'd like to think of it as an answered prayer in my asking God about where he wants me to go next and how I can use what has been given to me. The happiness in my heart was overflowing... I realized as I was doing the assignment later in the week that my studies in sacred scripture would allow me to be a well-informed facilitator. Finally... a venue to share some of the things I have been blessed to learn!

Still, I am so conflicted at the moment. I want to serve the mentor who has so generously supported my studies. I am also being invited to serve in another department in the seminary. And still another colleague from media is inviting me to go back to our company. 

Maybe I have crossed off one option... May is approaching. That is the time when the ASSJM will be receiving aspirants. If I'm going to give religious life a try, this would have been the ideal time to take the leap. However, since I committed to the LOJ bible study, I have in fact effectively chosen to remain outside. Besides, the possibility of sharing some Hebrew or Greek or ANE knowledge with LOJ filled me with such joy, I can only surmise it was divine inspiration guiding me to the right path. 

The remaining uncertainty is a tense knot in my being. I don't know what to do. How do I make this decision? However, I will try to remember... when I seek the Kingdom of God, he will not let me go unguided. He will let himself be found. He will lead me to the right choices, the right places, the right people. 

In the meantime, I will heed my mother's advice: finish your thesis!

Lord, thank you for the successful defense of Fr. Dr. RCF. Thank you for giving him to us as a guide to sacred scripture, together with all of our talented professors over the past three years: Fr. T, Sr. B, Sr. M, Sr. N, and so many more...  

Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to study. Please help me to make the best decision regarding how to use your blessings for your purpose... what to do... where to serve... and please, please provide for my finances. Breaking point na ko, Lord. Kayo na sana bahala. I surrender the uncertainty of everything into your merciful hands. May your will be done. Amen.  

Summoning Le Chink

It was during Sunday lunch when I confronted my sister with the feelings I had been holding in for the past two months. It was not well said, not at all diplomatic, and not well received.

However, like divine intervention whispering in his ear, my good friend Le Chink texts me soon after and we agree to meet up later and go to mass. We have a lovely dinner, conversation that relieves me of my stress and worries, and a ride home to boot because he was giving me a lovely bouquet of chicos. 

"Sorry, they're not roses," he says.

"I prefer these to roses," I grin. "But you promised me two boxes," I pretend to complain. He is giving me two bags. 

Bwahahaha! 

Chico monster is very happy and laughs like an evil villain in a play--except there is no villainy. Just a very happy chico monster looking forward to eating a lot of chicos.

And today I am reconciled with my sister. Yahoo! I feel very blessed indeed. The knot in my heart has been released. I am feeling very, very happy. 

Thank you, Lord, for good friends with impeccable timing who see us through bumps in the road. And thank you for sisters who forgive us for saying hurtful things. Thank you for sisters we can argue with. Thank you for sisters we can reconcile with. Hugs! 

Heroes of Hope - Part 7

There are many people to thank and honor... the carpenters who worked regardless of the rain and lack of raincoats in the first weeks... and who gave up their New Year with their families. 

The volunteers who were not individually named... for their thoughtful deeds and cheerful demeanor at all times. Thank you.

In total, the mission assisted 89 houses. It's funny how some people seem to expect you to do more. I believe it's about doing what you can, even in the face of what seems insurmountable. 

The mission has concluded and everyone is in their respective homes where they ought to be. Right now, useful relief goods would include candles and matches. If someone reading this blog wants to replicate what Fazenda has done, one of the first things to consider would be where to stay while in the mission field. The Fazenda team hired carpenters from their area and invited volunteers for support. The professional carpenters did the essential roofing work while volunteers did what they could to hep out. And the community from Brazil raised funds to buy the necessary materials. Everything came together. 

Thank you, Lord, for all the blessings. Thank you for allowing us to participate in this mission. Please continue using our five loaves and two fish. Please continue providing for those in need. This we ask in Jesus' name. Amen.

Heroes of Hope - Fr. John

Just picked up from the airport, Fr. John is still in his traveling clothes.

I know a lot of good priests and see them in action everyday but I don't take their pictures while they're doing it. Still, it would be good to honor one. It's always a delight to see a good and holy priest in action outside of the liturgical celebration.

Fr. John arrived a day before our last working day in Tacloban. However briefly, it was nice to meet him.

Thank you, Fr. John, for your presence, the spiritual support and words of wisdom during and outside of mass, especially for allaying our doubts about how insignificant our participation was. Thank you also for the raincoats. May God continue using you as a shepherd of his people. God bless and keep you always!

Heroes of Hope - Ramon, the Key to Tacloban

Ramon is a native of Tacloban but has been a volunteer at Fazenda da Esperanca for six years. Yolanda claimed the life of his brother. 

In a way, Ramon was the key for the Fazenda team to come to Tacloban and help out. Fazenda's initial visit was to check on his family and find out the best way to help. 

During the mission, the male volunteers stayed in a house that belonged to one of Ramon's relatives, while the female volunteers initially stayed in his sister's house, Sr. Angeline, before moving to a friendly neighbor's house across from where the boys were staying.

On my last day in Tacloban, Ramon helped me locate a friend's family so we could request for Fazenda's help. Even though I was not there physically, I was happy to know that the Fazenda family delivered coco lumber and GI sheets to my friend's family on the day of our flight back to Manila.

Thank you, Fazenda.

Thank you, Ramon, for continuing to serve despite everything. May God continue to console you and your family at this time. May you continue to shine your light in the darkness. 

Heroes of Hope - Banban, Cook

Adding cooking and musical skills to the mix, Banban is an all-around invaluable member of the mission who will continue his volunteering at Masbate after the outreach in Tacloban is over. 

A graduate of Fazenda, Banban continues to live out the gospel with an ever-ready hand to help in anything--whether it be mixing paint to get the right color, loading or unloading coco lumber or iron sheets, or creatively using left-over corned beef with pork and beans for dinner.  

He will also ask if you want to accompany him on an errand when he knows you've just experienced a moment of disillusionment and are feeling heavy at heart. And when you're back at the house with a lighter heart but empty hands (after vainly searching the nearby stores for dahon ng sibuyas), he'll disappear only to come back a few moments later with the necessary ingredient requested by Sr. Angeline, sourced from a neighbor's potted onions. 

Thank you, Banban, for the quirky humor, the yummy cooking, uplifting guitar playing, and the sensitive initiative you take to meet the different needs around you. May God bless you with a very fruitful year of volunteering at the farm! 

Heroes of Hope - Edward, Navigator

Edward has struggled with addiction for many years but with each new day in Christ, he adds another day of victory, another day of loving those around him.

After graduating from Fazenda da Esperanca, he now heads the Family of Living Hope in Cebu. 

At Fazenda's mission in Tacloban, Edward was the right-hand man who assisted in coordinating everything: contacting people they needed to get to, asking for directions on how to get to their homes, listing the things that had to be bought and delivered, helping keep track of the finances and receipts, and making sure everyone on the team was okay.

Edward was a navigator; he advised on where to park, where the next house was, etc. He also helped direct people like me whenever I would feel a bit on the useless side of things... he encouraged me to try my hand at building a door. 

Thank you, Edward, for the friendly welcome, willing assistance, encouragement, and bravery to share your story. May God continue to bless you and your family as you run the race with eyes fixed on the crown of life, as you keep running towards Jesus.  

Check out Fazenda's diary of the Tacloban mission.