Ipis

I dread nothing more than cockroaches--except for maybe flying cockroaches. But I can't bring myself to kill them. So it was not a pleasant feeling to find a potentially flying one crawling around the tiny living room of the apartment I rent with B and S. As it crawled around the door near the kitchen, I asked God if he would guide the cockroach out--maybe by the hinge jamb where I could crush it, though even as I thought it, the idea made me cringe. 

The cockroach went about its business unperturbed, taking its sweet creepy crawly time, going up and falling down (sometimes with a threatening flutter), in a zigzag manner across the room. Eventually, it neared the door leading out of the house. I opened the inner wooden door. It fell upside down beneath it before making its way nearer the outer screen door, which I gingerly unlocked. The cockroach crawled to the corner of the door... I pushed it open, and watched as it slipped out. I quickly shut the screen door in relief.

This reminded me of how God answers our prayers not according to our limited words and understanding of what we think we want (e.g., please let the cockroach be in the kitchen instead of the living room), which may only be a temporary solution. He gives us answers that are better than what we ask for, in accordance with His lavish love. This love is so lavish that things other people will see as trivial, He takes into consideration--even something like a fear of cockroaches. And while we watch things go up and down, in a zigzag manner that sustains our anxiety level, things might actually be falling into place. 

Lord, thanks for taking care of the little things and the big things. Help me to trust in you, to be still and know that you are God, even if everything seems topsy turvy and out of sorts. This we ask in Jesus' name. Amen.