A breakthrough thought for me in my discernment...
As I was treating myself to breakfast yesterday morning, I was thinking that no man can love me the way God loves me. I sometimes have this thought when I am thinking of the reasons why I should not have a crush on someone, trying to think myself out of my feelings. However, this time, the train of thought was followed by... "but a man can love me as God loves me if God infuses him with His own love." What is true love after all but a theological virtue whose only source is God?
Similarly, I can love only if God loves through me. This has been a block for me because I have been telling myself that I do not know how to love so anyone interested in me would be better off without me. But now... I realize I have to trust God to love for me and through me for only Jesus loving in me can actually love for real. What a relief! To rely not on my merit but on the merit of Jesus' perfection.
A virtuous childlessness has been my goal recently, in the sense that I've been trying even more to be chaste in my thoughts. Before, I kind of just accepted that I fail in this area and it's okay because at least it's only in my thoughts... I'm still trying am I not? But then again, Jesus did say that to look lustfully at someone is already adultery. So I have to really aim for purity in thought. I still fail often but I no longer tell myself na "okay lang 'yun." Sa totoo lang, hindi siya okay. To fulfill my vocation, I really have to put chastity into practice.
I no longer think I will be a nun. But it is freeing for me to believe that God will empower me to be a holy single person or a holy married person. Holiness is the goal; God's grace is the key.
Lord, if you want me to be married, please infuse the man You have in mind for me with Your love so he could love me for real, with passion and conviction in the face of obstacles. Similarly, please infuse me with Your love so I could love for real, with courage and selflessness, whether single or no. Forgive me for my shortcomings. Please bless my hunger for holiness with Your own righteousness. Thank you for your faithfulness. May I become faithful to You. This I ask in Jesus' name. Amen.
As I was treating myself to breakfast yesterday morning, I was thinking that no man can love me the way God loves me. I sometimes have this thought when I am thinking of the reasons why I should not have a crush on someone, trying to think myself out of my feelings. However, this time, the train of thought was followed by... "but a man can love me as God loves me if God infuses him with His own love." What is true love after all but a theological virtue whose only source is God?
Similarly, I can love only if God loves through me. This has been a block for me because I have been telling myself that I do not know how to love so anyone interested in me would be better off without me. But now... I realize I have to trust God to love for me and through me for only Jesus loving in me can actually love for real. What a relief! To rely not on my merit but on the merit of Jesus' perfection.
A virtuous childlessness has been my goal recently, in the sense that I've been trying even more to be chaste in my thoughts. Before, I kind of just accepted that I fail in this area and it's okay because at least it's only in my thoughts... I'm still trying am I not? But then again, Jesus did say that to look lustfully at someone is already adultery. So I have to really aim for purity in thought. I still fail often but I no longer tell myself na "okay lang 'yun." Sa totoo lang, hindi siya okay. To fulfill my vocation, I really have to put chastity into practice.
I no longer think I will be a nun. But it is freeing for me to believe that God will empower me to be a holy single person or a holy married person. Holiness is the goal; God's grace is the key.
Lord, if you want me to be married, please infuse the man You have in mind for me with Your love so he could love me for real, with passion and conviction in the face of obstacles. Similarly, please infuse me with Your love so I could love for real, with courage and selflessness, whether single or no. Forgive me for my shortcomings. Please bless my hunger for holiness with Your own righteousness. Thank you for your faithfulness. May I become faithful to You. This I ask in Jesus' name. Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment