Last Sunday, I was at the Feast PICC (now to be known as Feast Bay Area, with different venues: the 8:00 and 10:30 sessions at PICC; the 9:00 am, 1:00 pm and 4:00 pm sessions at the Aliw Theater; and Saturdays at the Star Theater at 5:30 pm).
This month's series is entitled Advancers: Age of Worship. Summed up, the big message I got was that: life is a battle and our battle cry is worship.
Right now, I am battling on two fronts: helping care for our sick father and moving on from a romantic entanglement.
Sunday actually marked the official end of that romantic entanglement but the mind and heart of a person in love plays tricks and keeps grasping at straws of hope, however flimsy. Even to the last minute, I hoped for a happy ending for me... that ending that can only happen in movies where the leading man chooses the leading lady despite all odds and all reason. How desperately we want to believe the words our beloved tells us when they are saying one thing but in truth are really saying goodbye.
The realistic hope I had was to see friends at the Feast to unburden my heart; but the ladies I was hoping for were nowhere to be found. And instead, while I sang that I surrendered it all, in my heart I found myself hoping for the impossible love to be there choosing me over everything else. Lord, bakit ganun? I'm doing my best to surrender, bakit umaasa pa rin ako kahit wala naman dapat asahan pa?
But at the end of the day, I did get consolation in the form of Le Chink, an old reliable friend who texted out of the blue asking if I was free that afternoon. So I did manage to unburden myself on a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. And he had a gift of mangoes to boot... all the better to soothe your heartache with my dear. So thank you, Lord, for sending what we needed to help us get through the day.
That night, I was on hospital duty. Armed with the big message from the Feast, I just kept praying throughout the night, alternating between worship songs and the rosary. Surprisingly, it was a relatively peaceful night with my father mostly asleep. Those nights are good nights for me so I thank God for battling for me. Mission accomplished: the feeding tube so necessary for his nutrition and medicines did not get pulled out in his sleep or in his stubborness. I did not have to put on his mittens to restrain him. And he allowed me to pray the Divine Mercy chaplet with him. Thank you, Lord!
Last night was not as simple, but truly, worshipping God in the midst of battle--having God with me in the dark, through the tears and the heartache--this is the victory we can claim while we are on this earth as part of the church militant.
Father, thank you for giving us an accurate diagnosis and means of treatment after such a long wait. Since the cost is far beyond our means, I know this is your battle and not mine. So I will trust in your providence that has been with us from the beginning. I declare your providence will continue to sustain us through the next eight weeks and beyond because you are our provider, our healer, our redeemer. Praise be to you. Thank you, Lord!
Lord, salamat din for all our heartaches. Thank you for the healing that will come in your time and through your grace. You have done so much for us in the past; we know you continue to be with us and will be with us through this painful time until we will just wake up one day and realize we're okay again. Thank you for the lessons each special person brings into our life. Please bless them always and keep them safe for all eternity. This we ask in Jesus' name. Amen.
This month's series is entitled Advancers: Age of Worship. Summed up, the big message I got was that: life is a battle and our battle cry is worship.
Right now, I am battling on two fronts: helping care for our sick father and moving on from a romantic entanglement.
Sunday actually marked the official end of that romantic entanglement but the mind and heart of a person in love plays tricks and keeps grasping at straws of hope, however flimsy. Even to the last minute, I hoped for a happy ending for me... that ending that can only happen in movies where the leading man chooses the leading lady despite all odds and all reason. How desperately we want to believe the words our beloved tells us when they are saying one thing but in truth are really saying goodbye.
The realistic hope I had was to see friends at the Feast to unburden my heart; but the ladies I was hoping for were nowhere to be found. And instead, while I sang that I surrendered it all, in my heart I found myself hoping for the impossible love to be there choosing me over everything else. Lord, bakit ganun? I'm doing my best to surrender, bakit umaasa pa rin ako kahit wala naman dapat asahan pa?
But at the end of the day, I did get consolation in the form of Le Chink, an old reliable friend who texted out of the blue asking if I was free that afternoon. So I did manage to unburden myself on a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. And he had a gift of mangoes to boot... all the better to soothe your heartache with my dear. So thank you, Lord, for sending what we needed to help us get through the day.
* * * * *
That night, I was on hospital duty. Armed with the big message from the Feast, I just kept praying throughout the night, alternating between worship songs and the rosary. Surprisingly, it was a relatively peaceful night with my father mostly asleep. Those nights are good nights for me so I thank God for battling for me. Mission accomplished: the feeding tube so necessary for his nutrition and medicines did not get pulled out in his sleep or in his stubborness. I did not have to put on his mittens to restrain him. And he allowed me to pray the Divine Mercy chaplet with him. Thank you, Lord!
Last night was not as simple, but truly, worshipping God in the midst of battle--having God with me in the dark, through the tears and the heartache--this is the victory we can claim while we are on this earth as part of the church militant.
* * * * *
Father, thank you for giving us an accurate diagnosis and means of treatment after such a long wait. Since the cost is far beyond our means, I know this is your battle and not mine. So I will trust in your providence that has been with us from the beginning. I declare your providence will continue to sustain us through the next eight weeks and beyond because you are our provider, our healer, our redeemer. Praise be to you. Thank you, Lord!
Lord, salamat din for all our heartaches. Thank you for the healing that will come in your time and through your grace. You have done so much for us in the past; we know you continue to be with us and will be with us through this painful time until we will just wake up one day and realize we're okay again. Thank you for the lessons each special person brings into our life. Please bless them always and keep them safe for all eternity. This we ask in Jesus' name. Amen.
