Whoa... no blog entry for two months! It does not mean there were no blessings... it's just that I have been on the brink of falling/failing—trying to keep my balance at the edge of multiple things.
The first balancing act involved walking the line between friendship and romance without hurting anyone. Hmmm... from a scale of 1 to 10, I'd say the pain level had initially been a low 4—tolerable. However due to its persistence and increasing intensity, I have been worn down to my limit.
The second was balancing my thesis, library and journal work against financial and emotional resources—which was being taxed by the politics of holiness and infighting in the community, among other things. Add the possibility to be involved in media coverage for the upcoming papal visit and things get more exciting. The crucial element here was doing what one was supposed to do without snapping people's heads off. Epic fail.
The third is a recent addition—seems the balancing act is turning into a juggling act. It involves a family member's health. He has been in the hospital for two weeks now. Hoping for the best.
Three Saturdays ago, had a heart-to-heart talk with Sis B. It was the talk that released me from my toxic guilt like no other. What an unexpected relief!
That evening, we celebrated our father's 70th birthday. The buffet was overwhelming in its abundance—everything from Japanese food to Filipino, wonderful desserts, and unlimited iced tea and juice (like blue lemonade, which I had not tried before). But what would all that food be without people to eat with? It was such a blessing to celebrate with family and friends (a good number of those since high school—that's maybe 54 years?). Super thank you, Lord!
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Last Friday was the Christmas party of the seminary. I did not feel like going but ended up at the party anyway. I got a lot of hugs and concerned inquiries. Turns out I'm not very good at handling inquiries—cried a lot; but it was nice to know a lot of people care.
Yesterday, I discovered a fellow chico monster. Aside from giving me my favorite fruit, CM kept me company during lunch, and later helped carry my bag to the bus stop.
Thank you, Lord, for friends who support us through these times of difficulty. Their acts of kindness, listening, prayers and patience ease our physical and non-physical burdens. When we think we are about to fall, they hold out their hand and we can regain our balance in the chaos. Please bless them a hundred-fold.
Also, please bless T & Fr. S, Chef J, Sir G, and D on their birthdays. Thanks po.
In a special way, we lift up family members who are sick and recovering from operations. Please touch them with your healing hands. And if you should allow them to suffer, may they remember to offer these pains up to you that even in their difficulty, they may participate in your plans for the redemption of all. But if you will, please console and comfort them; allow their pain to decrease and their health to increase. Grant them full recovery.
For those people who keep watch over them, may you be their strength, presence of mind, and merciful patience.
For those of us who feel helpless, may you honor whatever everyday acts we do as an offering for our prayer intention. May they be acts done with love and united with the love of Christ.
All this we ask in Jesus' name. Amen.
The first balancing act involved walking the line between friendship and romance without hurting anyone. Hmmm... from a scale of 1 to 10, I'd say the pain level had initially been a low 4—tolerable. However due to its persistence and increasing intensity, I have been worn down to my limit.
The second was balancing my thesis, library and journal work against financial and emotional resources—which was being taxed by the politics of holiness and infighting in the community, among other things. Add the possibility to be involved in media coverage for the upcoming papal visit and things get more exciting. The crucial element here was doing what one was supposed to do without snapping people's heads off. Epic fail.
The third is a recent addition—seems the balancing act is turning into a juggling act. It involves a family member's health. He has been in the hospital for two weeks now. Hoping for the best.
*****
Three Saturdays ago, had a heart-to-heart talk with Sis B. It was the talk that released me from my toxic guilt like no other. What an unexpected relief!
*****
That evening, we celebrated our father's 70th birthday. The buffet was overwhelming in its abundance—everything from Japanese food to Filipino, wonderful desserts, and unlimited iced tea and juice (like blue lemonade, which I had not tried before). But what would all that food be without people to eat with? It was such a blessing to celebrate with family and friends (a good number of those since high school—that's maybe 54 years?). Super thank you, Lord!
.
*****
N does hospital duty. I am assigned more on house duty. Two Thursdays ago, while I was on house duty, R came by to keep me company. He brought a pork dish and a chicken dish. I cooked the rice and we had a nice dinner. After that, we watched The Book Thief on television. It turns out my sister had not yet eaten dinner so she had a nice meal too when she got home. Yay!
At the peak of my worries, a friend called me. Though the signal was choppy and we could not communicate properly, his virtual presence and prayers was a big source of comfort and strength.
*****
*****
Last Friday was the Christmas party of the seminary. I did not feel like going but ended up at the party anyway. I got a lot of hugs and concerned inquiries. Turns out I'm not very good at handling inquiries—cried a lot; but it was nice to know a lot of people care.
*****
Yesterday, I discovered a fellow chico monster. Aside from giving me my favorite fruit, CM kept me company during lunch, and later helped carry my bag to the bus stop.
*****
Thank you, Lord, for friends who support us through these times of difficulty. Their acts of kindness, listening, prayers and patience ease our physical and non-physical burdens. When we think we are about to fall, they hold out their hand and we can regain our balance in the chaos. Please bless them a hundred-fold.
Also, please bless T & Fr. S, Chef J, Sir G, and D on their birthdays. Thanks po.
In a special way, we lift up family members who are sick and recovering from operations. Please touch them with your healing hands. And if you should allow them to suffer, may they remember to offer these pains up to you that even in their difficulty, they may participate in your plans for the redemption of all. But if you will, please console and comfort them; allow their pain to decrease and their health to increase. Grant them full recovery.
For those people who keep watch over them, may you be their strength, presence of mind, and merciful patience.
For those of us who feel helpless, may you honor whatever everyday acts we do as an offering for our prayer intention. May they be acts done with love and united with the love of Christ.
All this we ask in Jesus' name. Amen.
