Hanging on

While at mass at Greenbelt Chapel (4/18/11), I was feeling the slightly thickened skin at the center of my palm. The three little bumps are only obvious to me--they've thickened from the times I've clenched my hand into a fist and the nails bite into the skin. Usually, those are the times I struggle with terrible thoughts entering my mind; I clench my fist, imagining I am holding onto Jesus. The thoughts horrify me so much, I fear I'm on the road to hell. So while at mass, I sort of mentioned to God, let these callouses symbolize how I am clinging to You. Please don't let me go...

After the mass, I picked out a piece of paper on which was a Bible verse and short prayer:

"'Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.' Phil 4:6

"The prayer of the heart is as basic as: 'Please God, don't let me go.'"

Gosh, Lord, pinakilig mo na naman ako. =)

Walking in the mall afterwards, I saw a father-daughter pair. The little girl was seated in the crook of her father's arm; she didn't need to cling to him because he was carrying her. He was the one doing the holding. 

In the same way, I might cling to my heavenly Father especially when I am afraid, but the truth of the matter is, He is holding onto me.

Can a mother forget her infant, be without tenderness for the child of her womb? Even should she forget, I will never forget you. See, upon the palms of my hands I have written your name. - Isa 49:15-16

Was it iron nails that did the writing? Thank You, Lord, for writing my name on the palms of Your hands.